Butterknife and Everything

by Max Wickstrom

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1.
00:35
2.
3.
4.
5.
02:19
6.
03:28
7.
00:41
8.
9.
10.
04:41
11.
12.
13.
01:18

credits

released July 29, 2018

music and album artwork by Max Wickstrom.

also thanks to:
Lisa Börgen (Me & My Guests) - vocals on tracks 3 and 5!

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all rights reserved

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Max Wickstrom Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: Party/Mystery
what should you do when you've moved?
memorize each window's view?
or burn your things and look the other way?
the ushers ask the lead "who are you?
please invite us to your party"
steadies herself, nothing much to say

the guests are staring back at her
a silent dance, none say a word
staggered glimpse of heaven sends her down
the strange stay dead and evening falls
there's nothing greater than control, oh no
secret, selfish thoughts fill her head

absolution absolution
absolution absolution

and you could shake her
but couldn't wake her
she lies purified
her eyes closed
knows there's
nowhere quite like this

they're all laying in the grass
discussing fated system crash
how simulated life will end tonight
she looks around with blown glass eyes
the guests are staring at the sky
she'll face her shadow, watching what's behind

stars quit their shining
the sun now aligning
by crescent trees
colors unseen
"oh just wait and you'll see"
prisms projected
their vision protected
by lenses dark
skeptic remarks
"oh just wait and you'll see"

and you could shake her
but couldn't wake her
she lies purified
her eyes closed
secret, selfish thoughts fill her head
Track Name: The Strange Stay Dead
we look up at the sky watching planes storm the moon
swarm around it like flies over fog cutting through
and I don't think of stories, I don't think of truth anymore

they all think that it's strange doing nothing at all
but I guess people change and I don't think it's wrong
I don't think of the past or hang things on my wall anymore

the paint could peel back and the ceiling could fall
and the air could combust and the night could dissolve
with one blow to the brain I could forget my name and age
looking out into the dark I could see anything

we open the shades and the morning is bright
she has nothing to say and she sits for a while
till the walls start to slip and my mind starts to give itself away

Catherine saw god when she stared at floor
but a god that is known is no god anymore
and she knows it's alright, there's no need to worry today
(looking out into the dark I could see anything)
Track Name: Uranium (Part 1)
see, I could talk for hours
and I'd never say a thing
waiting endlessly for no one
in this knocked-out fantasy
but when visions on the ceiling
threw my thoughts in disarray
I left desert-bound
and feeling changed

the scene was like a postcard
as we moved across the land
standing dark against the canyon
shadows bent across the sand
home was like a cut-out
in some re-enactment play
and my memories
were painted strange

well, he says he is no prophet
but he speaks with quiet ease
and his telegenic manner
makes you wanna wait and see
oh, everything was painless
like we knew it had to be

as with fission, as with cattle
strike the shepherd and they'll scatter
knock the planets out of line
a parting sacrifice
far past the burning farmhouse
the telegenetic sheep
floorboards splintering in movements
like a sawdust symphony
Track Name: Fever
she's a bell hung from the door frame
and a shadow on the floor
and she's following the searchlight
moving perfect to the score
falling backwards through the current
as it's heat surrounds her cortex
she is absolutely weightless in the moor

and she's stringing words together
in a way that's all her own
all their sounds disturb the air
with a pleasant sort of tone
and they ring between her ears
when she thinks she's all alone
in a rhythm no one else will ever know

and I think she may have changed her mind
but that was weeks ago
I've forgotten now
and I'm sure she had a reason why
but that was weeks ago
I've forgotten now

she woke up half-unconscious
in a tranquilizer dream
in a fever she told secrets
spilling strange thoughts frantically
things she never said before
that she remembered in her sleep
in a fit she had to tell them everything, everything
Track Name: Ghost
got lost last night
turned up today
they found her in a ditch half a mile away
there'd been some confusion
troubling conclusion
she said she could get home okay

through the field she weaves
butter knife and everything
out to chase the ghost she claims
had snuck in through the dog door
drifting under the willow tree
where June lost her identity
and Mira lost her locket

leave it in that certain place
all wrapped in lace, even though you know
I'm not from the moon and you aren't either

climb the hill to see
where all the flowers used to be
to drown her culpability
to keep the righteous reaching
place it under the willow tree
another stolen effigy
left out for the magpies

leave it in that certain place
all wrapped in lace, even though you know
I'm not from the moon and you aren't either

"locked in the bathroom with the threat all over with
call me your favorite or I'll load up the car again
feeling alright but I can't make amends
now, how could you love me in a time like this?"

I'm not from the moon and you aren't either
I'm not from the moon and you aren't either
I'm not from the moon and you aren't either

I'm not from the moon

in the field she sleeps
butter knife and everything
lying in the dirt again
buried as she's breathing
Track Name: Your Go-To Optimist
twenty-six days till they drill my head
now remember what the bridesmaid said
how self-loathing keeps you home in bed
so you ought to learn a trade instead

I'm a fraud without a job
counting magpies, wasting time
I'm so happy, I'm feeling weak
everything's so beautiful that I can't breathe
I've ruined your life, I'm doing fine
I've been doing quite alright
only son, ugly daughter
when do we talk about the good ones?

tried to sleep, but once again
I wake up wanting something more
party girls and idle men
now they only make me bored
been to the moon just for a trip
but I know where I belong
only son, ugly daughter
when do we talk about the good ones?

I'm your chosen televangelist
your second-favorite narcissist
your all-in-one embarrassment
your go-to optimist
and I'll give you everything that I have
I'll give you everything that I have

you're my necessary hypnotist
my anesthesiologist
my crash-test mannequin
my unplanned eulogist
and I'll give you everything that I have
I'll give you everything that I have

twenty-six days till they drill my head
now remember what the bridesmaid said
'cause I know that I've had every chance
and there's no excuses left
Track Name: She Is From The Sun
when she fell down from the sky
it was over so she opened her eyes
she knew that things would have to change
she knew that half would have to die

she is from the sun
she is from the sun
she came home with no plan
and flowers everywhere
something missing from her words
and a blank, blank stare

it's as if the shadow never had been cast
as if the tides had never pulled
and when she walked along that passing star
she swore against the cold

light was nearly blinding
but in darkness she was trapped
came home with no plan
she's never going back

the fish are in the garden
and the clouds are in the lake
the tolling bell has hit the moon
the silver ring was fake

with green around her finger
and mascara on her cheek
she pulled the secret from her tongue
she promised not to speak
she is from the sun
she is from the sun
Track Name: Flowers
we stay quiet as
we grip along the roofing
float around your TV set
holding our lungs down
as though breathing was some rusted
twelve-step program, vigilant
never touching

we're so lucky as
we paint our little houses
scratch-off victory
we're so happy
as we're looking through our microscopes
nothing we can't see
time, talk, and action

you keep waiting for the call
the change that you've been counting on
when it all starts feeling like your own
a picture-postcard on the wall
to show you what is beautiful
feels just like home

girls named after flowers should never be trusted
girls named after flowers should never be trusted

we're so pretty
as we reach the starry desert
two-thousand far headlights
never planting seeds
just laying flowers in the sand
a picture-perfect sight

girls named after flowers should never be trusted
girls named after flowers should never be trusted
Track Name: Spectric Conversations
the moon was a dividing cell
of bone and prism glass
each sun had a sister
as the night broke clean in half
sometimes when it's quiet
you can hear the spectric conversations
between the lights that pass

stare out the window of a dark, dark room
you see your subjects but they can't see you
you're still waiting

the one-way-mirror blue sky
pushed the stars from out of view
and everyone who passes by
sees something strange in you
sometimes when it's quiet
you can hear the spectric conversations
of watchers coming through

you'd be unseen in empathic disguise
if only you knew what you had to hide

stare out the window of a dark, dark room
you see your subjects but they can't see you
you're still waiting
Track Name: Uranium (Part 2)
he dropped the beaker
splitting dark solution all across the floor
the crystal chandelier was
the first to go

and if you see them
tell them all that I'm not troubled anymore
if it's truthful I'll be
the last to know

the things you learn up there
seem like everything
but they don't mean much at all
when you come back down

the things you learn up there
seem like everything
but they don't mean much at all
when you come back down
Track Name: Mira
got lost last night
turned up today
they found her in a ditch half a mile away
there'd been some confusion
troubling conclusion
she said she could get home okay

through the field she weaves
butter knife and everything
out to chase the ghost she claims
had snuck in through the dog door
drifting under the willow tree
where June lost her identity
and Mira lost her locket

leave it in that certain place
all wrapped in lace, even though you know
I'm not from the moon and you aren't either

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