by Max Wickstrom

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released August 24, 2017

music and album artwork by Max Wickstrom


all rights reserved



Max Wickstrom Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: Time Stopped Just For Me
he's got no depth perception
we've got no place to hide
I've got no way to cover myself
my nerves are all untied

my head is running in front of me
I chase it all the way home
everyone says I'm wasting time
they all think I don't know

he just sits there holding his jaw
but sometimes I swear I can see the future
I wish those birds would learn a new song
cause this one's the same thing over and over

at this point I'll do anything
to keep myself together
time stopped just for me
and I'll live forever

pacing in front of the station
looking for something new
he thinks everyone is in love with him
he thinks that I am too

he just sits there holding his jaw
but sometimes I swear I can see the future
I wish those birds would learn a new song
cause this one's the same thing over and over

at this point I'll do anything
to keep myself together
time stopped just for me
and I'll live forever
Track Name: Level the Land
I'm an aimless bystander
and they visit my dreams
I pray to alien gods
I leave nothing to guess
I can't shape my thoughts
to fit through my teeth
so just tell me, tell me if
they don't make sense

I'm your go-to optimist
and I waste no time
I'm your televangelist
I have nothing to hide
I sleep on the roof
so they'll know where to find me

don't you think it looks like me?
oh, don't you think it looks like me?

something heavy
will fall through the sand
cover the town
level the land
desert structures
follow the plan
one day they'll fall
level the land

repulsive patterns
that no one can see
marking the ground
like some kind of disease
try to forget
what we saw by the trees
don't you think
it looks like me?
Track Name: I Thought I Was Saint Catherine
I thought I was Saint Catherine
I thought I was divine
I thought it was my mission
I waited for a sign

cause nothing gets you in
until you leave yourself behind
I hear it's worth it in the end

I hid inside my mind cell
I waited for my ring
I made my life a holy hell
I gave up everything

cause comfort is a sin
so I stick feathers down my throat
it's worth it when you're there

y'know self-loathing
is still self-obsession

saintly doesn't make it sane
but they'll still follow you
I thought I was Saint Catherine
sometimes I still do

cause nothing gets you in
until you leave yourself behind
you'll see, it's worth it in the end

(blessing or compulsion
could be sacred or demonic
is misery a miracle,
are we righteous or just neurotic?)
Track Name: The Prophet
she's a would-be prophet but it's much too late
to be chewing on the bones of a martyred saint
and she'll take your questions if you catch her off guard
so I run to meet her at the gate

she says:
"I miss home but that's alright
'cause that's not what I'm after
everything is so much fun
thank god it doesn't matter

and if I turn to you and my
intentions aren't quite clear
tell me I remind you of someone else
that's the best thing I could hear"

one night I was walking and I saw an old friend
and her face was exactly the same
she smiled politely and she spoke like a stranger
as she asked me how I knew her name

you'll stare at the sun and you'll like the weather
and you'll run far ahead but you won't feel better
you'll think for yourself and you'll let go gladly
and you'll get what you want but you won't be happy

I'm so glad to see you
so damn glad to see you
I'm so glad
Track Name: Eavesdroppers Step Quietly
each word you say just hangs dead in the air
and I wake myself up every time that I speak
I keep my voice low so my point isn't clear
I keep the door closed so the neighbors don't hear

you went to bed cause there's nothing to do
it's cold and it's almost tomorrow
I'm tired of having to cover my thoughts
and I lost the coat that I borrowed

when I get up at night I don't turn on the light
'cause I know this place, I've stayed here a while
I'm walking home and I'm counting my bones
and I don't make a sound 'cause eavesdroppers step quietly

I swear all the streets are misnumbered
and this lot wasn't here on the way
and the sky is too light for this time of the night
but I'm in no hurry, I'll stop to recover

I sit with myself and I think of my cells
and how I will never control them
I wish I could at least see them

I'll stare through the fog til my eyes have adjusted
and then I'll get up, I swear I'll get up
but now infrared visions are flooding the sky
and however I try I just can't look away

I saw myself hanging in front of my desk
trying to look apathetic while I pulled all my hair out
the only one here with an ear and a plan
keep yourself near with a rock in your hand

the neighbors are watching a horror movie
that's what I hear through the walls
and those hands on their window are only the trees
and that smoke is just smog from the refinery

a girl down the block calls somebody a liar
she throws something out the car window
before it had time to steal 3 am's silence
light fell from above and now everything's quiet

she hears all my thoughts on her radio-mind
so I cover my head with the ground to my face
but machines in the sky send the frequency higher
til dogwhistle chimes echo all through the neighborhood

now it's all clear and my mind disappears
when I let the last ring take me over
I lay in the grass
and I think of the past
and I feel the light wrap up my shoulders
I hope I don't get too much older

and when lights from the sky
come to carry me home
I'll be sure to leave you something
Track Name: Time/Talk [instrumental]
Track Name: Dear Charlotte
sometimes I remember this song that I've heard
hadn't listened too close, but now I know every word
and I'm tired of waiting 'cause it all stays the same
but you tell me you love me so I better not change

Charlotte, you're over and your secrets are known
but I'd like to keep mine, or else I'll be all alone
I know that I'm happy and I know what I want
I take what they give me, poison or not

I found her wearing my old clothes
wandering the catacombs
she lifts her head and stares with doubt
falling to her knees she shouts:

"Please show me how to tell apart
what's right and what is comfortable"

it's best to leave it all unknown
'cause things make more sense when they don't
they'll visit like familiar dreams
or someone else's memories

not worth going out because
nothing feels real like a movie does
the change of plans was a good decision
I'm not in the mood for a holy vision

those tickets he sells me are worth every kick
my compliance is endless and my mind makes me sick
he keeps me too close and I don't know his aim
but he says that he loves me so I better not change
Track Name: Digits
I'd like to be self sufficient
I try to reproduce by cutting off digits
and if I knew I could survive without them
I would cut off a finger every day
and leave it out in the snow
for the visitors

strobing I saw it move one frame at a time
that nauseating flicker from behind my eyes behind the field
behind the way-too-many rocks above me
with lumps like taste buds crowding the surface
in 67 reflections all round my head
and shapes where the sun would set
open like faucets and spill light all over our new home

flashbacks to tomorrow keep me up all night
those dreams of forgotten spit from last time
cause they don't write songs for the one who loves less
and the house is a wreck and your clothes are on the floor
eating away at the paint like bile
I could see why you wouldn't wear them anymore

I am completely self sufficient
I reproduce by cutting off digits
and I know they can survive without me
so every day I cut off a finger
and I leave it in the snow
in that certain place I go
to meet the visitors
Track Name: His Obsessions
static noise and former joys that cover up your eyes
pray on some complacent dream to feel good all the time
take the pieces you found and arrange them on the floor
or make it clear that all your words mean nothing anymore

leave a ribbon 'round the radio
and that look across your face
the fears you left out by the field
are soon to be replaced
with thoughts that run in circles
as you pretend to sleep
at night you're blinded wide awake
they're far too bright to keep

what made his wish so empty
besides his selfish aim?
he slept all through his time and mind
he planned his life away

pick up your perscriptions
admit that you exist
sometimes you gotta give in
and see a specialist

you never spoke with sober eyes
you never could sit still
you stare out like you're taking notes
your plans go unfulfilled

sometimes he likes to join them
he comes down from the hill
finds patterns in the nonsense
forgets his own free will

static voices
what could they mean?
Track Name: Score [instrumental]
Track Name: How To Look Taller
I've been thinking about the time
we sat up on your roof
but this is purely conditional
I need the proof

you told me that we would leave nothing behind
you said that good weather was easy to find
I'm glad that I met you now that this is through
forget all the things that I said that I'd do

I walk beside you
you walk alone
Track Name: I'll Wait For You
find you in some long-lost desert
I'll follow the same old sand
remember the way to the ship
draw a map on my hand

I'll wait for the sound of your boots
against the gravel by my window
I'll sleep in front of the headlights
lay out here in the snow

you'll find me in some car wreck
you'll find me in my old room
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for you

meet you somewhere else
see you somewhere else
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for you

I'll wait for you

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