I Thought I Was Saint Catherine

from Visitors by Max Wickstrom

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lyrics

I thought I was Saint Catherine
I thought I was divine
I thought it was my mission
I waited for a sign

cause nothing gets you in
until you leave yourself behind
I hear it's worth it in the end

I hid inside my mind cell
I waited for my ring
I made my life a holy hell
I gave up everything

cause comfort is a sin
so I stick feathers down my throat
it's worth it when you're there

y'know self-loathing
is still self-obsession

saintly doesn't make it sane
but they'll still follow you
I thought I was Saint Catherine
sometimes I still do

cause nothing gets you in
until you leave yourself behind
you'll see, it's worth it in the end

(blessing or compulsion
could be sacred or demonic
is misery a miracle,
are we righteous or just neurotic?)

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from Visitors, released August 24, 2017

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Max Wickstrom Portland, Oregon

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