Will

from Will by Max Wickstrom

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lyrics

You left home young
Swore they'd never catch you
Traded your compassion for
a respectable sense of duty
You mastered the black hole of desire
When the light slips through your grasp,
you choose instead to reach for nothing

And when your dreams defy your will,
you take some more Modafinil
And when you inspect the blade you chose,
you are objective, you are composed

You proved your shame
living with the cattle
Each night, you asked of every lamb:
"My shepherd, do you still resent me?"
Their silent mystery consumed you
Strangled you by the dark magnets
of their vacuum eyes

Now in derangement, you ask once more
I cannot answer, but ever faithful, you continue

On and on, till you can
surrender all the burden
to Friday's holy anesthetic
the only time you hold the mirror
Fantasize cold retribution
to finally ease that desperation to be more than
someone who things happen to

But it's just a silly, selfish thought
A recurring dream you've already forgot

When you greet me, I can't ignore
this haunted feeling we've met before
Now at your heel, but still alone
I follow you along the road

Don't think because I'm quiet, I'm naive
You don't have to defend yourself to me
I like your grief, I like your knife, I like your temper
I won't intervene
Don't plead to me
I'm only the stenographer

credits

from Will, released August 22, 2023

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Max Wickstrom Portland, Oregon

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